Caught in the Moment: Mental Health, Empathy and the People Who Guard Us

It is 1am on a wet Saturday. A man in his forties is at your door. He has had too much to drink, you have told him he is not coming in, and now he is shouting at you. His mates are inside. The queue is watching. "Who do you think you are?"

I have stood at that door for more than 20 years, and the research backs up what I learned: the man at the door is not always that man. Something happened to him today, or this year, and you are looking at the end of it. And eleven hours into a shift, an hour after someone spat near your boots, the guard at the door is not always that guard. You have caught each other in a moment.

If you are struggling right now, you are not the only one. Free call or text 1737 any time to talk with a trained counsellor. In an emergency, call 111.

Nobody is the only one

Everyone carries a stress bucket: life pours stress in, coping lets it out, and when it is full there is no room for the unexpected. Everyone has a window of tolerance, the range in which you can think clearly, and stress or fatigue shrink it.

It is also common. In the New Zealand Health Survey for 2024/25, 14.3% of adults, one in seven, reported high or very high psychological distress in the previous four weeks. The Dunedin Study has followed about 1,000 people born in 1972 and 1973; by age 45, 86% had met the criteria for at least one mental disorder. Struggling at some point is the ordinary human experience. In 2025, 55% of New Zealanders said they worried about money daily or weekly.

We are only now catching up. The campaign against stigma began in 1997, the 1737 line arrived in 2017, the He Ara Oranga inquiry reported in 2018, and only in July 2026 did Parliament pass the Mental Health Bill replacing our 1992 law. The security industry has barely started. This is Mental Health Awareness Week, 12 to 18 October 2026, theme Belonging matters, and a guard is often the one person on a site who belongs to no team there.

What you carry in, and what the job adds

Pay. MBIE found from 2022 data that 61.7% of security guard sector employees, six in ten, earned close to the minimum wage, meaning 120% of it or less. The minimum wage was then $21.20, so six in ten guards were on $25.44 an hour or less, and three in four (76.5%) earned below the national median wage. Today the minimum wage is $23.95 and the Living Wage is $29.90, so even a guard paid 20% above the minimum sits below the Living Wage.

Hours. In 2022, 51.6% of guards worked weekends, and a review of seven studies linked shift work to 28% higher odds of poor mental health.

Insults. The best guard-specific data are British. In a 2020 study of 754 UK security operatives, 64.6% were verbally abused at least monthly and almost a quarter daily. Of 1,224 licensed UK security staff surveyed in 2021, 57% said an incident had affected their mental state for more than 24 hours, and 48% had had a flashback or nightmare about an incident. Both samples, one of union members and one self-selected, may over-represent bad experiences. In New Zealand, in April 2026 a Papakura supermarket guard was allegedly seriously assaulted after stepping in during a shoplifting.

Damage. In that study of 754 guards, 39.3% scored at or above the cut-off for probable post-traumatic stress on a screening checklist: a screening result, not a diagnosis, but a warning light. It is rarely one terrible night. It is the slow drip: daily abuse, distress that lingers, and straight back on the door as if nothing happened.

Nobody is counting. Asked under the Official Information Act in 2017 how many security staff had been assaulted, Police said the data "is not distinguished by employment type of the victim". We could find no New Zealand study of this workforce's mental health. What is not counted does not get fixed.

Our industry's answer has long been "harden up". A full bucket is not fixed by being told to toughen up, and about one in four New Zealand guards is a woman. "Harden up" is aimed at the wrong picture of who we are.

Belonging matters: talk to each other

Guards are the guardians in our society, and guardians have problems too. If you are a security guard in New Zealand, you belong to a large body of people who know exactly what the job asks: the sore feet after twelve hours standing, the abuse, the 3am drive home.

A review of 148 studies covering more than 300,000 people linked stronger social relationships to 50% higher odds of survival. In a study of 282 supervisor and staff pairs, a good relationship with the person above you weakened the spillover of rudeness from home into work. In studies of MATES in Construction, a peer-support programme for a similar shift workforce, workers preferred to turn to family, friends and workmates. So talk to each other. Ring the guard you worked with last weekend and ask how they are going. It is easier together.

The person in front of you

Distress in disguise. Depression does not always look like sadness, especially in men. When a large US survey counted "alternative" symptoms such as anger attacks, aggression and substance misuse, more men than women met the criteria for depression (26.3% against 21.9%). The man at the door at 1am belongs to that group. Post-traumatic stress makes people irritable and quick to startle. A panic attack brings a racing heart, shortness of breath and dread; most last between 5 and 20 minutes, and a person fighting for breath can look like one spoiling for a fight. Grief brings anger and a need to shout. Alcohol narrows attention onto the provocation.

When "drunk" is a medical emergency. A hypo (low blood sugar) can leave a person confused, cranky, sweaty and shaky. Agitation or confusion is one of the first signs of a severe head injury. People recovering from a seizure can be confused and staggering. An autistic person in sensory overload may lash out or go silent. A person with dementia may be in severe distress but struggle to say why. A missed head injury or hypo can be life-threatening.

The signs, and the rule. UK police guidance lists cues (confusion, slurred speech, over-breathing, volatility, withdrawal) and a firm rule: the signs are seldom definitive proof, and nothing should be assumed before the person has had a good opportunity to explain. A New Zealand study with NZ Police found that "the research identified a basic humanistic response was most important to the people they serve".

More often the victim. In the 2020/21 New Zealand Crime and Victims Survey, 44% of adults with high psychological distress had been victims of crime in the past year, against 29% of all adults. More distress is probably landing at the door too: mental health made up 11% of Police emergency calls in the year to May 2024, and since November 2024 Police have been stepping back from non-criminal mental health work.

You caught the moment. In 1977 the psychologist Lee Ross named the fundamental attribution error: we blame character and overlook the situation. You see the outburst, not the redundancy letter, the funeral or the knock to the head an hour earlier. It does not excuse harm. It means a person's worst five minutes are weak evidence about who they are. If the right person is at the door, that moment ends with a feed across the road and a taxi home. If not, it can end with an arrest, an injury, a criminal record or a lost job. You can be the right person. That is not soft. That is the job.

Inside both brains

When an encounter turns tense, two nervous systems react at once: yours and theirs. The amygdala flags a threat and signals the hypothalamus, which fires the body's accelerator; adrenaline and noradrenaline push up heart rate and breathing before the brain has fully processed what it is seeing. A slower system releases cortisol, and a review of 208 laboratory studies found it peaks 21 to 40 minutes after a stressor begins.

The prefrontal cortex, the brain's planner and brake, goes quiet. Amy Arnsten's review found that "even quite mild acute uncontrollable stress can cause a rapid and dramatic loss of prefrontal cognitive abilities". Two findings matter at the door: people who felt in control under stress were often not impaired, and lack of control combined with being judged by others produced the largest cortisol responses and the longest recovery, which is what being refused in front of your mates feels like.

The alarm can be turned down. In a 2007 UCLA laboratory study, when people chose a word to name an emotion, amygdala activity fell and a regulating area of the frontal lobe rose. Your body does the same thing: a guard who is short of sleep, worried about money and three hours into abuse has a more reactive alarm and less prefrontal capacity before the next person opens their mouth. A review of 223 studies found deliberate slow breathing strengthens the body's brake, at low cost. Practise a long exhale, and use it before you approach.

The tools: PCA, TENR, AWOCA and TOR

The Guard Select Academy teaches four tools. Before any of them, steady yourself: a long exhale, two arm's lengths, an exit for both of you, one person talking, and two checks. Could this be medical? Am I the right person to lead tonight?

PCA, Perceived Cumulative Assessment, is the running total of what you see and hear as the situation develops. TENR turns it into a decision: Threat, Exposure, Necessity, Response. Adapted from NZ Police (it gives you no police powers), its principle is "safety is success". Time is a tactical option. AWOCA does the talking.

• Ask. Introduce yourself, ask rather than order, move away from the audience. "Kia ora, I'm Sam, on security tonight. What's your name? Can we have a word over here?" Less threat for the amygdala, and no audience.
• Why. Give your reason briefly and fairly, then find theirs. "It's the same call I'd make for anyone who's had a few. What's going on for you tonight?" A short reason suits a weakened prefrontal cortex, and talking puts feelings into words.
• Options. Two or more real choices and a face-saving way out. "Grab a feed across the road with the boys, or I'll walk you to the taxi rank. Your call." Choice restores control, which protects the thinking brain.
• Confirm. Check they understood, repeat calmly, and if nothing is urgent, give it time. "Is there anything I can say that'll get you to walk out with me now?" A pause lets cortisol level off.
• Act. Keep your word if they chose well; if not, take the safest effective action. Act does not mean force: disengaging, stepping back, calling another guard, an ambulance or Police on 111 all count. "Okay, I'm going to step back and give you some space." A practised structure keeps your thinking brain in charge.

The law. Force is a lawful last resort. In defence of yourself or another, section 48 of the Crimes Act 1961 justifies "such force as, in the circumstances as he or she believes them to be, it is reasonable to use". The Academy tests that by asking whether the force was reasonable, necessary and proportionate: the Academy's words, not the section's.

After. Write it up promptly with TOR, Tactical Options Reporting: what you saw, what you believed, and why you chose what you did. Then look after the guard: a colleague asking "How are you doing after that one?" and meaning it.

Does it work? In Louisville, US police divisions trained in ICAT had 28% fewer use-of-force incidents, 26% fewer injuries to the public and 36% fewer injuries to officers. A review of 30 studies linked dignity, a voice and fair explanations to more cooperation in police encounters. But we could find no study testing any communication model, AWOCA included, with security guards. AWOCA follows the same principles, but it is not proven.

Two moments

Composite illustrations, not real people.

Oxford Terrace, 1am. A man in his forties is refused entry for being too drunk and shouts at the guard, Sam, in front of the queue. Sam cannot see that he lost his job that afternoon. Sam breathes out, steps back and moves him away from the queue: "I'm Sam. What's your name? Okay Mike, can we have a word over here?" "They laid me off today." "That's gutting, mate." Mike's voice drops. Sam offers a feed across the road or a walk to the taxi rank, and Mike leaves with a mate. Had Sam matched his volume in front of the queue, the likely ending was a swing, a restraint on wet concrete, an assault charge and a criminal record.

Ana's Friday night. Ana arrives for a bar shift after a row at home, a short pay week and a week of bad sleep, and is called names from 9pm. When a man she has turned away spits near her feet, she feels the heat rise, knows her window is narrow tonight, breathes out long and slow, and asks her colleague to lead: "Can you take this one? I'm a bit hot on it." Her colleague runs AWOCA and moves the group on. Ana takes five minutes, writes it up after the shift, rings me the next day and turns down a Sunday job without penalty. What she was saved from: a shove, a complaint, a Police call, her licence and income on the line.

What employers, clients and Guard Select owe guards

Under the Health and Safety at Work Act 2015, "health" means physical and mental health, and every business must manage psychosocial risks. WorkSafe's list of those hazards reads like a guard's job description: long hours, low job control, shift work without enough rest, job insecurity and low pay, working in isolation, and traumatic events. Clients share the door: a break room, a duty manager who backs a reasonable call, and taking abuse reports seriously cost almost nothing and tell a guard they belong.

Control, rest, respect and someone to talk to are safety controls. At Guard Select:

• Guards set their own rate, keep 97% of it, and are never obliged to accept work.
• Fatigue rules are enforced: at least eight hours off before a shift and no more than 60 hours in seven days.
• I personally call every guard once they confirm a booking.
• GPS check-in and an emergency share-my-location button, so a lone guard is never entirely alone.
• Guards file a shift report and rate the client after every shift.
• The Academy is free and runs six Foundation courses: PSR, PCA, TENR, AWOCA, NZ Security Industry Law and TOR.

Guards are engaged under Guard Select Limited's PSPLA company licence 26-141664. We are not a counselling or crisis service.

The door is always open

Guard or client, if you want to talk about a job, a hard night or anything, ring me on 022 646 1844 or email admin@guardselect.co.nz. No judgement.

To talk with a trained counsellor about anything, free call or text 1737. Lifeline 0800 543 354 or free text 4357. Suicide Crisis Helpline 0508 828 865. Healthline 0800 611 116. Victim Support 0800 842 846. In an emergency, 111.

Empathy is a safety skill

The moves that look gentle, privacy, a reason, a chance to say what is wrong, a choice, time, bring an agitated brain's brake back online. Empathy is not the opposite of tactics. In this work it is the tactic. If you are a guard in New Zealand, you belong to thousands of people who know what the end of a long shift feels like. It is easier together.

The person in front of you is not always that person. You have caught them in a moment. So has everyone who meets a guard at the end of a long night.

The full 10,000-word article is available as a free PDF from Guard Select.

General information, not medical, clinical or legal advice. The scenarios are composites, not real people.

Be the change. Join the movement.

Yours faithfully,
Tarquyn Read
Founder, Guard Select
Guard Select Limited, PSPLA company licence 26-141664

New Zealand mental health sites

• 1737, Need to talk?: free call or text 1737 to talk with a trained counsellor.
• Mental Health Foundation of New Zealand: information, resources and the full helplines list.
• Mental Health Awareness Week: this year's theme, Belonging matters, and the Five Ways to Wellbeing.
• depression.org.nz: the Depression Helpline, 0800 111 757 or free text 4202, with a self-test and self-help tools.
• Lifeline Aotearoa: 0800 543 354 or free text 4357.
• Youthline: 0800 376 633 or free text 234, for young people and the people who care about them.
• Alcohol Drug Helpline: 0800 787 797 or free text 8681.
• Anxiety Helpline: 0800 269 4389.
• Samaritans: 0800 726 666.
• Rural Support: 0800 787 254, for people on the land.
• Manaaki Tāngata Victim Support: 0800 842 846, including after an assault at work.
• WorkSafe New Zealand, mentally healthy work: what every business must do about mental health at work.
• Te Hiringa Mahara, the Mental Health and Wellbeing Commission: New Zealand's mental health data and system reports.

Key sources

• MBIE (2024): Security Guard Sector report
• Te Hiringa Mahara (2026): NZ Health Survey data
• Caspi et al. (2020): the Dunedin Study
• Talas et al. (2020): UK security operatives
• NZ Police OIA response (2017): assaults on security staff
• Martin et al. (2013): depression in men
• Arnsten (2009): stress and the prefrontal cortex
• University of Cincinnati (2022): ICAT study